Let me begin by saying that Steve Jobs was a visionary genius. It speaks volumes that a film was made of his life this quickly, as society seems to have realized right off the bat that this man was an amazing person. He wasn’t just a technical genius, he was an artist, blending a user-friendly interface (fuck you, Windows 8) with intelligent design and machines that were both a feast for the eyes and the mind. That said, his movie is a feast for neither. And that is truly depressing, as Jackie Robinson and Abraham Lincoln’s biopics were such a tremendous success. Not to say that Jobs is comparable to them, but the filmmakers really could have done better.
Jobs stars Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs, the hippie who revitalized the computer industry. Now, Kutcher isn’t a HORRIBLE actor, but he’s most definitely not a good one either. He sometimes feels like a Tom Cruise wannabe, but without any of Cruise’s likability. The fact that he has never once starred in a good movie should say enough about him. And really, the only reason he was cast in Jobs is because he looks remarkably like Steve Jobs himself. That’s it; not acting talent or anything else of the sort. The supporting cast, although mediocre, is brought down by Kutcher’s bland central performance, which makes the entire movie a really disgusting affair. A word of advice-- if you’re making a character-driven drama, don’t let the characters be so useless.
However, the film isn’t helped along by the pointlessly scattershot plotting, which pieces together random segments of Jobs’s life in a hopeless attempt to create an actual narrative. Not to mention that, for some reason, it glosses over his hand in Pixar, and everything that Apple did AFTER becoming a tech giant. I guess we’ll have to wait for Jobs 2 to see that... oh God, please, no. But seriously, it’s more than a little frustrating to go into a movie after seeing posters and trailers with old Jobs on them, only to see two hours of Ashton Kutcher walking around barefoot with a full head of hair. It would have been interesting to see what Jobs thought about the poor labor conditions in his China factories, but the movie conveniently ended before we saw that aspect of him. It’s a completely one-sided film that absolutely glorifies its central character without bothering to go any deeper into his complicated personality.
A lot of the scenes feel random and unnecessary, especially a few spliced-in moments in which Steve signs a child support document for his kid... a plot point that reveals nothing about the character and is never brought up again for the entire movie. It’s not the only scene that leaves the audience befuddled and bemused (for all the wrong reasons), but it’s certainly the one that stands out the most. The film also is not helped along by dialogue such as:
“I miss you when you’re not around.”
“It’s so beautiful... like a window to the world...”
“What do you think it’s like in space?”
There’s not a single line of dialogue that rings true, not a moment that feels relatable, and nothing in the entire film to make you feel attached to the cardboard cut-out characters on screen. Every line is corny, every moment is overdone, and everything is SO FUCKING BLAND. Jobs is put on a pedestal in this movie, making it simultaneously annoying and preachy. It’s a 127-minute ad for Apple, glorifying their longtime figurehead without bothering to go any deeper than the persona he put on for the public. Which is pretty sad.
Also, Steve Wozniak (or as Apple die-hards call him, Woz the Great and Powerful) is given very little screen time or character development, despite his being a major part of Apple from the beginning. Jobs then takes his idea and runs with it, and it smacks of a good-looking, less intelligent guy taking credit for the geeky engineer’s progress. Was this all true? Maybe. But amazingly, the movie wasn’t even trying to show that. It really made Jobs out to be a bit of a dick, which is nothing like what he actually was (if you ask anyone he ever worked with). It altogether gave the wrong message, the wrong tone, and CERTAINLY the wrong dialogue.
Final Score for Jobs: 3/10 stars. Yes, I hated this, but I do have to add a few points, as I am completely biased on this subject. I would not be surprised if, in 100 years, Steve Jobs is remembered as the second coming of Jesus, just because history books will have glorified him so much by then (perhaps undeservedly). The movie did accomplish one amazing feat, in that it got the audience to get chills over a simple computer. And that’s pretty impressive. As someone who respects Jobs and everything he did for technology, I have to admit that this movie kept me mildly entertained. If it had been a made-for-TV biopic, it would have worked perfectly, but as a feature film, it just doesn’t pull it off. What a disappointment.
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